When I came home from work on Fri morning I pretty much went right to bed -- and that pretty much describes my weekend. I guess I needed the sleep since I pretty much flaked out from Sat. morning to Sun night when I had to get up and get ready for work. I'd been fighting a bad headache all weekend and my tummy was not too happy with me either. I've never had a "lost" weekend before. I am not sure that I want to have another weekend like it again. I feel like I wasted the time, although the sleep has pretty much restored me in many ways back to normal. I am not feeling as stressed as I was by everything.

When I went to the Dr's on Thurs morning he had me take more blood tests (I hope I passed ....) and told me that basically the baby is in better shape than I am. Seems that I am just having a difficult pregnancy. Nothing abnormal, just difficult. I was hoping to be totally over morning sickness by now. I am almost in my 3rd trimester, however, it seems that I am one of those lucky women who get nausea all through the pregnancy. At least it is not constant nausea the way it was in my 1st trimester. Prepregnancy I was a very healthy person and would get a cold now and then but that was about it. I am not used to having to slow down and make allowances for how my body is responding. I guess maybe if I did try to slow down I may not get as tired and nasty feeling as I am now.

As I've written previously I think becoming pregnant is one of the best things that has happened to me in that it is a wake up call to stop drifting and letting life happen. I've met way too many people who do that and to be honest none of them are really happy with where they've drifted to. I am a role model now for this wee girl and I want to do the best that I can, spiritually and with every other facet of my life (then again if I am not doing well spiritually I don't see how any other part of my life can prosper -- at least not in the ways that matter).

My heart is already so full of love for my baby and I want to do the best for her and by her. After God she is the most important person in my life. I never thought I could feel love so strongly and so fiercely for any person. Every now and then I find myself daydreaming about her. What she will look like, what her character and personality will be like, taking her to kindergarten the first time; secondary school graduation; leaving home the first time; university graduation; her wedding day; becoming a grandmother ...... Hmmm, guess I should just stick to day by day LOL. My prayer continues to be for the safety and health of my baby and for a good future for her. I pray that she will come to know Jesus at an early age and that she will be kept from the things that have hurt me so in my life. I pray that she continues to follow God all of her life. I pray to be a godly mother and to love her and be the mother for her she needs.

Under His mercy and grace,